doubts

For a while now…well the last few months…well about six if I’m honest with you, I’ve been frustrated and dissatisfied with my photography, what I shoot, how I shoot. At times I feel like I’m on the right path, and at other times it’s as if what I want to do or the direction I want to take is just out of reach. It’s not like I don’t know how to take a descent shot, I’m pretty sure I’ve done it before. I’ve even taken images that that my friends and family have liked. Lately though it feels like my creativity has plateaued, or taken a step backwards.

I feel like I should be making choices and being bold, but I dither. I question every shot I take, the subject, the style even the editing. Does that look okay? will people like it? In all honesty the images I take probably still look good, but there’s always this nagging little voice that persuades Me otherwise, persuading me that the images I take are mundane, and that I should really be shooting something spectacular.

I fear I will end up like Vivian Maier, forgotten and overlooked while alive only to be “rediscovered” after death as highly unlikely as that may be. I don’t take photos purely for the adulation or for likes you understand. My personal work is just that personal. I share what I want on social media,and the rest with friends. Maybe if I had, maybe if My nudes had been better received, maybe if I’d have pushed more put myself out more I’d still be shooting them, showing Women how fabulous they look nude in a Gok Wan sort of way.

But that’s all maybes…

I’m trying to get out of this slump, trying to shoot as often as I can, trying new things new styles, but in the present climate, and with the lack of driving licence I’m finding the desire to get out there increasingly difficult.

I will just have to push through.

4 thoughts on “doubts

  1. When I shoot with my amateur photographer rigger friend we keep all of the images. I look at them and learn. What do I like, what don’t I like. Most are mediocre but every shoot there is one or two stand out shots. We both learn.

    I’m not a professional model so there are lots of learning points for me.

    At the end of the day if YOU like the images then thats great. You can’t control what others think of your work, only whether it makes you heart sing.

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    1. I think it all stems from the photography/modelling sites I used to be a member of. Models judging you on your portfolio before deciding if they want to work with you. Or togs judging the quality of your image to decide if your a GWC or a “real” photographer, part of the club, one of them. Those are the reasons I left, those places can be toxic and the residue is still with me. Making me question myself and my abilities. Maybe if I’d stuck with it I’d still be shooting nudes? Who knows.

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      1. I think whatever “community” you are a part of it can feel like that. And it is an uncomfortable feel. I guess for me, on those sites and in the blogging world, I only ever think of myself as a hobbyist so any recognition beyond that is a bonus.

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  2. I’ve never thought of myself as anything other than an amateur in regards to sites and always listed it first when describing myself. I just wanted/want to grow and develop as a photographer. It’s hard when people you think are there to help aren’t really.

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